April showers bring May flowers to Green Bay, Wisconsin for a Thursday service led by the pious Roger Goodel and his 32 factions with their own identity under one shield, the NFL Draft. The Cleveland Browns after 3 years of the Texans rocking their picks return at the #2 overall pick after their big ‘swing and miss,’ on the guy who has trouble finding a reliable massage therapist. Obviously, the club desperately needs a QB for the future but this draft isn’t deep in can’t miss leaders. The organization had made it clear Travis Henry from Colorado St, ‘a unicorn’ would be their lead pipe lock but ah, Draft Day is a mystery.
Just like the movie the Browns and Jaguars threw a Molotov cocktail together and after the chaos the order was Jags #2, Browns #5 plus a 2nd rounder, 4th, and next years 1st. Score! The smell of desperation is the stank of entering Florida on interstate 95 cracking a window to breathe freedom. If there is a shittier team or organization then Cleveland, it’s the Jacksonville Jaguars. Since Mark Burnell and that killer D that lost in Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship the Jags are well, the Marlins of the NFL. Welcome home Travis.
At #5 the Brownies went with the DT from that school up North, Mason Graham, 6’3’’, 320lbs, and I believe he is the biggest guy on the Orange and Brown. “He’s a perfect fit,” head coach Kevin Stefanski blushed. Big enough to fill the gap and help Myles upfront in the toughest division in football. Makes sense to aid Mr. Garret, he truly is Cleveland and adding another star lets the Sun shine over the mighty Cuyahoga on the lake front.
The 1st pick of round 2 was just selected by Cleveland, Carson Schwesinger, LB, UCLA. Ah, relief. Leave Sanders to find another home because he isn’t built for AFC North football. With reliable Joe Flacco and western Pa’s own, Kenny Pickett, penciled in for QB the Browns aren’t concerned I suppose but dang that kid from Alabama, Jalen Milroe, is a Lamar Jackson style of player; maybe worth it. A couple more picks and the article will write itself, holding…
Andrew Berry goes O-H-, I-O with RB Quinshon Judkins at pick 36 and the plan has been revealed; defense and run game. With Ford, the Bearcat and Judkins, the Buckeye, a one two Ohio backfield punch pounds on the lakefront in 2025. With the loss of Nick Chubb (maybe the best running back in Cle. I’ve seen with heart, mind, n muscle) that repair was mandatory for the club, management, ownership, and fanbase. The guy was our quiet heart always pumping up the Dawg Pound. “Did you see that handoff,” Baker clarified, “98 yards.” Big shoes to fill.
Why do the Browns hold such a place in my thoughts, mind, and heart to make me want to write about yet another draft? I suppose Clevelander’s posses some trait of hope when the odds are constantly stacked against us. The fucked-up haircuts, garage rock, blue collar, community of outcasts find middle ground on Sundays to cheer the cardiac kids. Six days after an Ohio man set foot on the moon, the Cuyahoga River caught fire and both represent what lies in the deepest subconscious of a North Coast native, undying spark of faith, fucking ludicrous belief, that the impossible might manifest. A Rick Moranis four eyed little Giant, “even if they beat you 99 times out of 100, there’s that one.”
Super Bowl.
