On a Sunday afternoon where bro’s drank, threw corn-hole, and watched football as the summer came to an end Shariff was struggling with long lasting bonds. His stature and New York accent under a dark ball cap widen eyes to ‘why?’ A question he couldn’t answer but had been asking himself constantly. His best friend growing up was committing violence against others and bragging about it saying it gets him off to hurt others. “I just can’t get with that,” he said in a perplexed tone. Why?
Looking back on it, I calmly received the unsettling information as it was projected with intensity upon me. Why? I suppose I sensed his troubles and simply agreeing that his buddy was committing ungodly sins to reinforce his belief was not the cure he was seeking. My probing led to more background information and I was putting it together.
With logic and reason one could assume because of this man’s past abuses, his trauma was maintained by being the aggressor instead of the victim of the past; thus producing a behavior that made Shariff want to disown him. This is the level I was taught at as a youth. If you cross the line, abandoned. And most would agree. But there is another lens to pear through if one chooses to participate there.
I said, “Shariff, Mother Teresa and Charles Mason come from the same faucet.” I believe this analogy helps breakdown them and us to a common dominator. But to ascend beyond good and evil takes a Christ Consciousness. One must experience the displeasure of a of an amoral man, a best friend, and brother; as only a man can. Emotions will exceed the normal limits and wear an avatar down, causing terrible irritation; and questioning why.
A band of brothers experiencing life’s everyday discovery until decades take shape and people change for good or bad. By seeing another one bite the dust I believe a part of our identity dies and that’s why it’s so hard and painful. We want to hold on to what we know, who we trust, and who we love. But this is not a lesson that was informed upon us. Why?
I didn’t learn until a few years back, soul contracts don’t last forever here. Maybe because it hurts so much and the understanding doesn’t compute with a surrender, and adults didn’t transcend the message. Marge Mitchell, an older woman I befriended in 2002 told me, “I collect people.” But this is not just ‘people’, these are relatives; kin. So the ‘why’ keeps churning.
My only advice was to listen because he already understands your feelings. What a task! For an individual to love in the face of evil takes the human out and what remains is a being. If one can override the duality programming and witness a dim light that just needs tinder in the uncertainty of inclement weather, they become more me and you.
It’s a tough pill to swallow but at this level there’s no pill or swallowing.
