Since the dawn of the internet mankind has found endless portals to express sexual desires, acts, and solve the taxing journey of finding true love through dating sites and apps. Data driven algorithms scanning for keywords, pics, and posts of our private life match us with zeros and ones. The scientific method of success for myself; has been a long road of under construction signs, Orange barrels, lower speed limits, and flashing lights. I can’t be for certain, but I hope the majority of users sincerely seek a passenger to explore the open road with the cruise control set, radio up, and let the windows down to let love in. I’m an optimistic romantic I suppose.
The reality of the digital dance floor is sticky from spilled soda, chewing gum, and bread crumbs that don’t lead home. The hunt begins visually on the #1 profile pic and a determination of a right or left swipe could begin or end a future. Looking at the crosshairs through the scope one examines the facts presented by the appointed ambassador. Height, weight, kids, sign, job, education, hobbies, favorite songs, faith, miles away, and the ever important, “In your words” section; is calculated and the hunter weighs the decision, is the “Juice worth the squeeze.” The soft depression of the trigger is pulled and a match is established, Boom!
My recent travels through apps such as Bumble and Tinder have confirmed this to be the make or break round. Cobra Kai’s, Johnny Lawrence, was taught to Strike 1st, Strike Hard, and show No Mercy; which I found to translate into date conversions. Similar to hunting, a target is only in the kill box for a brief window and opportunity must be seized when presented if one intends to eat. By the 10th message, in an orderly rhythm with rapport built, I switch off the safety and text my number; pressure on the pitcher, off.
Women in my age bracket, 40, plus or minus 5 years, respond quickly; their alone time is valuable. Again, I find myself sitting in a tree-stand on a bitter cold November morning in camouflage, I repeat the texts until the 10th message, and then suggest a call/interview. The final round before the close raises the stakes through its intimacy; the tone of the voice reveals body language and sentiment that cannot be read through text. Can the voices, resonate with a give and take or is the cadence clunky, choppy, when no bounce in your step can be found? Will either party listen intensely, wait, breathe, and gather an appropriate thoughtful response or will they respond immediately through emotion, without merit, heart, and an ambassador? A lesson learned through telemarketing, every connection is a different door. If you don’t like it hang up; Some will, Some won’t, So what.
Your conversion rate should be over 75% if you’ve made it through the middle-aged gauntlet and secured a secluded moment with your target on the mobile. Really, this is a time they can’t be distracted by outside sources; if they’re truly into you. One can’t read SM, news, texts, or yell at kids on the phone or you’ll be made obviously aware of their, “Be here now,” lack. I’ve encountered nothing but 100% success through phone calls due to the above mentioned. A part of me feels reawakened, recalling rotary phones and tangled cords on the telephone for hours with a female classmate, uncharted seas that may have giant octopus, washing decks in hurricanes because I’m the low man on the totem. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the thrill of discovery, especially when the other can “Toe the line,” driving, navigating, expressing; them in me and me in them.
The communion of a close relationship can’t be made through artificial vehicles, although if one loves to duck hunt, a sense of accomplishment can be seen but not felt. The Dark Art, that is online dating, is modern voodoo. If one is looking for an excuse on the profile or text they will zoom in. They have forgotten the last time love was the dominant force in their thoughts and actions, because they would put other’s shortcoming to the back of the bus. Being in sales a majority of my life, I’m a firm believer in the Law of Averages. An astounding ball player fails 7 out of 10 times batting .300 but there are some home runs in there; deep to center on a sunny Sunday afternoon.
Engaging the occult of peer bonding is mystifying and strenuousness on the nervous system but what we are seeking, I find, is seeking us. Although the urge to fulfil the void of inner space is continually trying to be solved by outside sources through the justification of the rational mind, one must fight this misconception. Forcing an agenda on my love life is counterproductive to the growth I seek from a relationship, bond, and connection. “You can’t hurry love,” even with the aid of the Dark Arts of AI in an online world.
