My Social Media Experiment 5 Years In

After seeing Tristan Harris, president and a co-founder of the Center for Humane Technology, interviewed by Bill Maher on his show Real Time, I watched the Netflix documentary, The Social Dilemma and began to think of how Social Media personally affected me.

Five years ago when I was attending USF in Tampa I joined the American Marketing Association, (AMA) and with that Alex, a former President said, “Steve, you have to create an FB page.  That’s how we communicate.”  Fighting my instincts over the last decade against the SM revolution I submitted to Big Tech, if you can’t beat them, join them.  In March 2015, on my way to New Orleans for AMA’s National Conference, I felt the rush of the SM experiment.  Immediately, my phone was flooded with friend requests, likes, messages, comments, pictures, and an excitement of joining a new community thrilled me!  One of my peers commented, “I haven’t felt this popular since middle school.” 

To feel liked, wanted, loved, admired, and significant are needed to satisfy the ego of all human beings.  And, so began a trip down the rabbit hole, showing off and trying to one up my last post. (Come on, Man. I’m better than 27 likes!)  In 2015 my life was filled of AMAzing events at USF, people, and places.  We met the marketing team of the Tampa Bay Rays and had a behind the scenes tour.  The Lightening also welcomed us.  I lived in Clearwater 3 blocks from the gulf, ran on the causeway after every morning workout, and island camped.  There was no shortage of terrific material living in such a proactive time and it was intoxicating. 

Today, my feelings toward SM vary.  Sure, it is a tremendous communication tool with speed that is unparalleled but it also has negative effect on the psych of its users, who range from pre-teen to senior.  “Didn’t you see my post,” has come out of my mouth and many others hoping to get the recognition we seek.  My friend, Patrick, said, “Likes, are digital cash.”  But, is the juice worth the squeeze? 

One line that continually reoccurs in my drunken freestyle sessions,

 “Point and click, slave to the terms and conditions.”

No one ever reads the fine print of Apps or contracts for that matter. 

Andrew Yang, former Dem. Presidential Candidate, was right to ask for our data check.  The amount of personal info that is used to sell products is MINE.  Snowden affirmed what we knew but nothing has changed, except for the side effects.

“The less you are connected with human beings in a deep, empathic way, the less you’re really getting the benefits of a social interaction,” points out Alexandra Hamlet, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “The more superficial it is, the less likely it’s going to cause you to feel connected, which is something we all need.”

The adoption of smart phones since 2008 has changed how we do everything, including social growth.  In my hey-day we were never home and social evolution occurred at the park, ballfields, in the city, and schools.  Today kids don’t leave their rooms and can’t put their phones down.  Which has led to cyber bullying, anxiety, and depression.  Privately, I’ve experienced 2 out of 3.  As teenager, I ran with an older crowd who beat me at will and threw me in the trunk of their cars for kicks but at least that window could be closed throughout my day, as opposed to carrying it in your pocket. 

I’ve put out posts that after reexamining could’ve been taken completely in the opposite direction of what I was trying to convey, and so anxiety hits.  My top spins with friends I know who might look at me different or be offended.  Or, when I find myself lonely and sad wanting escape from the life that currently drowns me, I look to your posts.  Oh, so and so is here, with that person, looking amazing, and my life is a dumpster fire, only wishing for a train wreck.  Others cry looking for sympathy, which has no substance.  Because if it did you would receive a direct call or text, reach out and touch someone.   

After the new algorithm hit FB about a year ago my content turned to 25 regular friends and the redundant posts of things I care nothing about.  Should we keep fighting about Trump or support him?  But, the spell still had me tapping the app after 7 new notifications tempting me to salivate.  One thing that truly offends me is people jumping to their phone buzzing, signaling to me their lack of “Be Here Now,” their addiction overrides the politeness and respect that is deserved in person.  So I made a promise to myself, (Leo, Once Upon Hollywood) I’m not going on until it says 100 notifications.  Well that passed quickly and I went 2 weeks in total. 

The delight from my personal achievement did not bring with it the high of the first month on SM but I felt “Freed” to certain extent.  Because I can remember life without FB, Igram, Twitter, and YT, the connections, bonds, and networks of real life experiences before I could click and see boobs whenever I wanted.  The youth has never had to build up the courage to walk-in the porno shop, existing in a beat ’77 Buick Regal, looking super underage, scoping the parking lot, and waiting for perfect time to get their hands on VHS of XXX.  Nope it’s one click away, like their perfect life or hell.

The social media experiment is a virtual video game.  Users need dopamine hits from likes, shares, and comments, to build their high score.  It literally ranks you, your content, physical characteristics, education, background, job, and even your thoughts.  When I’ve gone out on a special outing and want to take a pic, I think, what will make the best post?  How can this come across the way I see and feel about it?  Will they understand better if I include this or that?  These are crazy thoughts!  But I need the hits and it reminds me of being in the gym.  When you want to lift more weight that is acceptable, but the ego demands to go further, For What?

They need me, us, not the other way around.  The human capital we possess to fill walls, pages, video, and 160 characters is the biggest slave labor force that ever existed!  We sleep with our phones, jump when they signal, never put it in a strangers hand, stare into the abyss for hours, and rely on its magic powers; the value we place on this is unprecedented.  For a company/technology to be the first and last thing you’re influenced by in a day is powerful. 

You either program yourself or get programmed!

There is definitely a war for top mind awareness, persuasion, and prioritizing our daily habits and consumer spending.  I have my troubles fighting it but at least I’m aware and that’s a start. I’ve come to the realization of attention spent on a post and not to get offended when something of substance that is personal, gets overlooked.  At least there is a platform for me to paint on and I know not to let it force an emotion on me.  When we continually retell a negative event in our lives, neurons that fire together, wire together and we let this emotional resonance guide our feelings.  Even though the event occurred days ago, but so and so just commented on the post and so, the phone buzzes, I click, the real world opens, and I relive the event.  I’m aware at very least and will make an effort to not to be on the phone as soon as I wake and sleep because, there is another world before and after those times that is more adventurous, loving, and real.

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