What is art and who decides? I presume the subjectiveness is open to all. But when one rocks the boat of unanimity among a collective, they run the risk of being a poser for infringing on their identity. Two days ago I started posting my work on ‘I’m an Artist’ FB group and to my surprise the comments were over 100. The majority were negative, (but also some understanding, 25%) so let’s marinate on that and ask why would someone take the time to engage?
When I awoke this morning and tapped the app, I was shocked to see so much chatter, and that people were voicing their distaste. My first logical thought from their perspective was that I do not adhere to any lessons taught on how to paint, which is their creed. I get that. I definitely do not. Why? Because drawing, painting, and art class didn’t come easy to me. I was not gifted with that expertise. If I tried through ‘Steven’ I wouldn’t be able to measure up to my mother or sister. So I took a different approach.
My process may be interpreted by others as hogwash, getting high and spattering paint against a canvass. I start with shrooms and once they activate, I meditate, at the end I ask for a four-song playlist (Cher ok). I light a candle, turn the lights off, hit play, and let out the expression. I’ll ‘hear’ knife, sponge, or fingers; as my hand is drawn to the warmth of the next color and then across the canvass by a song, vibration. By shutting off my sight I’m more aware of feeling, more right than left brain. When I ‘hear’ done it’s over.
The lights come on and at times I didn’t like what I saw but I refrained from tinkering with it because that would lessen the integrity with my ego at the helm. The ones that I hated at first are now some of my favorites. Why? I couldn’t decipher the light entering my pupils upon the premier. I was confused. Just as with most I try and reiterate, ‘I’ didn’t paint these, I’m the medium of exchange. And I get that goes against the top-mind awareness of most. So, I guess I’m saying that I’m not an artist like you. That doesn’t mean I don’t admire your time, skill, and work. I do! Because I could never be you.
I can appreciate the responses that say, “I don’t like it. It’s not for me.” That’s straight and honest but the other shit is like, WOAH! Funny that it didn’t bother me because I’m not a traditional artist and from a marketing standpoint it’s causing mass engagement, a win. Plus, others were fighting my battles for me, “I saw what you said and you haven’t even posted” a peer responded to the haters. I guess what’s really bothering me is the artist community is made up of freaks, outcasts, and the underground; a safe place to be yourself, free; and I was instead being prosecuted as a fraud.
I can accept that most people are not familiar with channeling and that the spirit world scares them. The very first person to comment warned me about becoming enslaved. Another said I wasn’t channeling for real. Enslaved, you will only become by thy will and no, I’m not an expert at channeling; it’s a practice. But among all respondents this fella turned one of the paintings and found a beautiful warrior face at the top. Others also agreed, so cool because I had received that message on a different painting and before I said anything my buddy told me to turn it and more would be revealed. One woman really understood when she said they don’t get it, it’s like automatic writing, yes, “Nailed it.”
I just posted the first 12 paintings, ‘Our Position’ a story of Interstellar Refugees; yes, I received a ‘download’ of their struggle. This I can appreciate may not be comprehendible to 90% of the public and paints me into a corner, (pun) of tin foil crazy town. But like with all experiences, if you haven’t found yourself there, how could you ever really relate? Those neuron connections don’t exist yet. The best you could do is have empathy for your friend.
This work isn’t for everyone, totally understand. Pictures on your phone don’t give you the presence of their persuasiveness. Or even the first time you encounter them, as a good friend showed me. At first, he said they were kind of cool. The second encounter, “Stu, these paintings I think are moving.” I just caught something on the new 4×4 I hadn’t noticed and thought how did I miss that?
I didn’t paint to become an artist, I did it same as the freestyles, it’s a beautiful thing to create. Do I want to sell them? Some, sure. But as a donation only format to fund my yoga, meditation, resistance training, and lunch for 9 students 3x’s a week. Really, I want to showcase them and see if they talk to you as they have to me.
My mother reminded me Van Gogh never sold a painting because people just didn’t dig it. If I presented the work that the majority agreed was a masterpiece, would it really be so? If I followed the guidelines how much frustration would follow as I struggled to do things the ‘correct’ way? Joy, fun, and expression would be absent. It would become work. Instead I choose to let go, receive, translate, and witness.
